1. |
Anchorless, Adrift
10:44
|
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|
Hatches burst
last air escapes
Left spinning
without anchor
I'm left spinning
without an anchor
and I'll never see home
Affix my focus
on a star far away
some home to an unknown God
who curls and uncurls in liquid light
embryonic fluid at the center of the universe
another world whose light dies
while I watch it die
and join it in its dying
I don't know what happens after
but I am that corpse God's brother
as I spin and freeze forever
his light inside me
and maybe some of mine in him.
|
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2. |
In Extremis
12:14
|
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|
This is not to paint a picture
of some stained glass icon
of suicide, brought home like a hero
on the backs of people
who will get up again tomorrow
and there will be days when
you want to let out the black mucus
that's had you blocked for years
and there will be days when
you want to be welcomed in
to somewhere beautiful
that you've never been to
and it takes a warm rush to get there
but then Oscar Wilde hands
you an opium pipe
and the high lasts forever.
But it didn't happen, and
you knew it wasn't going to,
and you sat there feeling stupid
and you've felt stupid so many times, and
I'm so sorry
that you'll never figure it out, and
I'm going to miss you, but
I'm also going to scream in your
frozen face.
You took a way out that
I'll never take, and
we were going to fight this together, and
you took a way out, and
I'll never follow you
you were stupid one last time.
One time too many.
I'll never follow you.
I'm smashing all the glass until
it's so fine you can't build a monument
from it ever again
and I'm burning every song you ever wrote
because you won't be a martyr
because I won't let you
and no one will hear your voice again
because I can never hear your voice again
and I'm so sorry.
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3. |
Between
08:59
|
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|
Expend and swell,
expend and swell,
alien lung
growing from my back
trembling in its strange socket
like a bird's wings smashed in and
flapping still.
You press your lips into me,
in all my savagery,
my malformation in the hands
of an inbred demigod.
You take me to your basement
and feed me moths and strings
tied to everything in the universe
blissful and stinging and
win me like a prize.
You show me where the bricks have
come loose in my walls and
I rebuild under
your direction and
look down from too tall heights in
adoration and worship for
the ground underneath the trees
where you live.
My eyes are
permanently adjusting
pupils re-birthed outward and then
slamming back into singular points
"like the universe," you told me.
You place my hand on it and say
"This is the universe,
this is what we are now,
this is the universe."
And you kiss me once before
I slip through the walls and
can't be seen.
You see me sometimes.
In between the walls.
You see me sometimes,
I'm in between the walls.
|
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Inurn Tucson, Arizona
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